NUMBERS (Blueboy Inc.)|
November, 1982 Vol. 55
An Interview with Bernd, West German "stricher" (Hustler)
he is over six feet tall now and has a tight, athletic body, dark-black hair and a mustache. adolescent acne has left a few light scars on his face, and though he doesn't believe it, it makes him look rugged and more masculine. he started having sex for money when he was 14 and for the next seven years he traveled throughout western germany earning between 150 and 200 dollars a night. his name is bernd. he's 25 years old now, but could pass for thirty. he is without a doubt, street-wise, but can still make you believe he is the innocent neighborhood jock. he insisted on sitting on the floor during the entire interview and when he talked to me he looked me in the eye. when he was thinking he would stare at his crotch and rub it like others rub their chins when they think. the interview was his idea. when i asked him why he wanted me to interview him on this topic and try to get it published he answered, "there are two things i like to talk about -- myself and men's cocks. it might be interesting for other to read about." it was anything but boring to listen to.
numbers: when was the last time you had sex for money?
bernd: (laughs) what do you mean, "last time?" if you mean when was the last time i stood around the train station and waited for someone to proposition me, than was, uh about two years ago -- two and a half, maybe.
numbers: the train station?
bernd: that's where every stricher begins. the train stations in germany are well known. in every large and not so large city you can find a boy at the train station hanging around the klappe (public restroom). most start off near their home town or the next largest city, and then when they earn more money the head for better places.
numbers: what makes one place better than another?
bernd: it depends. usually you could think that the bigger cities, frankfurt, berlin, munich -- would be the best, but that's not always the case. too many locals and not that much more business. the best places are the middle-sized towns with few or no gay bars. that's where you can find good-looking guys about 25 and up who will pay to have a blow job. whatever -- there are usually more men hanging around a medium-sized train station located in the middle of a lot of villages.
numbers: why is that?
bernd: they have less opportunity. closet cases. anonymous. they drive maybe half an hour to get there, can be sure nobody they know is anywhere around and can safely pick up a guy and go for a ride.
numbers: how did you start?
bernd: on my knees, too fast for too little money. i liked it too much. i was 14 and was walking home from school and this older guy -- probably all of 24 or 25 years old -- asked me if i wanted to earn some pocket money, i thought he meant some kind of part-time job and so i told him no because i was still going to school and didn't have time for a job. anyway, he walked with me a ways and asked me if i wanted to go to his apartment. it was then i realized what he wanted.
numbers: and you had never had sex with a man before?
bernd: i had only learned about jacking off a few months earlier, but even then i was always fantasizing touching another man's cock. he didn't force me to become a faggot, if that's what you mean.
numbers: i take it that means you went with him to his apartment?
bernd: yeah. he took me to his place and we had a beer first and then he showed me a few magazines. typical stuff, but for me it was a real turn on. i had never seen that before and it was real exciting.
numbers: he didn't have to do much convincing?
bernd: (laughs) no. i practically dived into his pants. he was saying, "not so fast, take your time," and i had a hardon that felt like it was going to rip my pants off and his cock in my mouth and was blowing, literally blowing, so hard my face was going blue. eventually i caught on and when he finally shot his load, i came immediately without even touching my cock.
numbers: so your first time was a good experience?
bernd: just thinking about it and still... (he points to a hardon in his jeans) ...anyway, he stuffed ten marks into my hand when i left (ed note -- that was about three dollars then) and i felt like i was rich.
numbers: you mentioned before what you did with your first money...
bernd: yeah. i bought a porno magazine -- a gay porno magazine and stuffed it under my bed so that i could look at it every night...
numbers: and that's how your parents found out...
bernd: right. i had no idea my mother vacuumed under my bed every week. she found it and showed it to my stepfather who beat the living hell out of me when i got home from school. that was the first time i left home.
numbers: where did you go?
bernd: well, i went to that guy's apartment -- the one who had given me the ten marks, but he wasn't home. so i went to the train station. i don't really know why i went there, that's where i went. i stood around for awhile and then went to the klappe to take a piss. another guy was there and he smiled and asked me if i wanted to go for a ride and i did. when we got in the car he asked me how much i charged and i said "10 marks." he looked at me funny and i thought maybe it as too much money, but he started the car and we drove off. when we got out of town, he pulled over on a side road and told me to take off my pants and lean the seat back. i did, and he leaned over and sucked on my cock. i shot pretty fast and shook like a leaf. then he started to jack himself off while i put my pants back on and watched him. then he drove me back to the station and gave me twenty marks. i couldn't believe it. i hadn't done anything except let him suck me off, which i liked a lot, and then he paid me to let him do it. that's when i knew there was a way to earn money and enjoy myself at the same time.
numbers: from then on, you considered yourself a stricher?
bernd: more or less. i didn't know the word for it then. i just thought it was how all homosexuals started. but i figured it was what i wanted to do. i started going to the station every night.
numbers: you were always successful?
bernd: i was a pretty cute kid, believe it or not.
numbers: i believe it.
bernd: there were slow nights, but there was always someone.
numbers: were you picky?
bernd: not so picky that i ever refused, but if i didn't like the way they looked, i wouldn't touch their cock, but let them suck me off or jack me off, whatever they wanted to do. but on good nights, i had to pace myself.
numbers: how so?
bernd: believe it or not, there is a limit to how many times you can have a hardon and cum in one night.
numbers: i have heard a lot of rumors to that affect.
bernd: well, it's true. so what i had to do was to stop being so choosy. i had to start giving blowjobs to less attractive people and not let everyone make me cum. that way i could go out with more guys in a night.
numbers: how many?
bernd: i remember one night, i was the only stricher at the station. they literally waited in line. i went off with one, in ten minutes i was back and went with the next. in the course of the night it was 14 guys. luckily, the last guy was super good-looking and wanted me to go home with him. i had about two hundred marks and was tired, so i did. we got to his place and you won't believe this, i asked him to fuck me because i had never been fucked before and i figured it was time to learn.
numbers: how old were you then?
bernd: i had just turned 15. he knew it was my first time, so he was pretty gentle and i liked it. i like the feeling of having a man's cock up my ass. it was a real turn on. (he smiles and winks) and it still is...
numbers: another cup of coffee?
bernd: i'd rather have a beer.
several beers later the tape recorder was turned on again.
bernd: ...there were a lot of strange scenes...
numbers: for example?
bernd: one older guy took me home, paid me 100 marks in advance and opened a huge closet. it was filled with uniforms -- soldiers, police, auto mechanic work suits -- everything. he told me to put on the fireman's uniform and helmet. he turned on a small lamp in one corner of the room and he sat in the dark on the other side of the room. then he told me to go out of the room, come in and pretend that i was alone after a hard day at work and stand by the light and jack off. so i did and after about five minutes i wanted to cum and he said, "shoot!" and i did and that was it. then he drove me back to the station and paid me another 100 marks when i got out of the car. 200 marks and he didn't even touch me!
numbers: easy money...
bernd: there were some stranger times though. one night, this guy offered me 50 marks if i would go out to his campsite with him. i wasn't that thrilled about going so far from the station, so he upped it to 100 marks if i stayed the whole night. it was midweek so i said yes...
numbers: midweek a bad time?
bernd: not always, but generally, weekends are better. so i went with him. besides the idea of sleeping in a tent for a night sounded pretty good. i got in his car and we drove for about an hour. i thought he was lost, he kept making so many turns and all, but he knew where he was going. anyway, we finally came to the end of a road and he stopped the car. he told me to take off all my clothes and leave them in the car. i didn't feel much like walking through the bushes nude, but he insisted, telling me it was his 100 marks, so i took off all my clothes and followed him naked through the woods. he said it was only a five minute walk and it was warm so i didn't really mind.
numbers: he wasn't naked though.
bernd: no. finally, i could see a small fire and when we got to it, there was another guy sitting there drinking a beer. he just looked like it was the most normal thing in the world to have a man and a naked fifteen year old walk in out of the woods. i was a little nervous because the guy who had brought me had gone into the tent and the other hadn't said a word, but there wasn't much i could do, nude, in the middle of the woods, that far away so i sat and helped myself to a beer.
numbers: how old were these guys?
bernd: hard to say. maybe 30 or so. so then the guy came back out of the tent with a chain and handcuffs...
bernd: my feeling exactly. before i knew it, they had my hands chained behind me and the chain on a tree near the fire.
numbers: you must have been scared shitless!
bernd: not really. i mean, i was nervous, but i could tell they weren't crazy or anything. i wasn't afraid that they would hurt me. they were careful to make sure the handcuffs weren't too tight.
numbers: ...and then?
bernd: i think they were a couple of married closet cases. they started off just asking me things.
numbers: like what?
bernd: "you like sucking men's dicks?" and "how long have you been a queer whore?" i think they got off more talking and watching than anything else. then one said to the other, "give the kid something to put in his mouth." and the other came over and wiped his cock on my face for awhile and then put it into my mouth and started fucking my face. they took turns. every time they were about to cum, they would pull out and go back and have another beer. then they started pissing in my mouth and on me and laughing, so i drank one of them and they were surprised. so was i. i was starting to get off on it. i got a hardon and they got turned on by that and started to pull my balls and slap my dick. finally, one of them came in my mouth and then the other fucked me and then they undid the handcuffs and told me to jack off.
numbers: then they drove you back?
bernd: no i slept with them in the tent. the next morning, as if nothing had happened, the one guy drove me back to the station and slipped me another fifty marks when i got out of the car.
numbers: what are you doing with all this money?
bernd: spending money has never been a problem for me. i was good friends with another stricher and we would get on the trains, go from one station to the next, hang out in bars, rent hotel rooms and have parties.
numbers: and never any problems with the police?
bernd: nope. i was lucky. but even the guys who would get stopped by the police never had that much of a problem. what could they do? they knew if they sent you home, you'd just leave again. they'd take down the information from your passport to make sure you weren't wanted for anything and then a social worker would come and ask if you needed any help and then they 'd let you go.
numbers: when did you stop hanging around the stations?
bernd: the day came. we'd all seen it happen to other guys. when you're 19 or 20 or 21 if you're lucky. it's when nobody is interested in paying for you. they want the younger guys. you aren't fresh and innocent anymore. i could feel it coming. overnight it seems to slip from your fingers. i didn't have the look. i was getting picky again. i wanted certain types and they didn't want me for any price. i started paying some of the younger guys to give me blowjobs.
numbers: you started paying?
bernd: yeah. i'd take the money i had earned, which was less and less, and go out and buy a kid five or six years younger than me.
numbers: but you were, and are, a good-looking guy. why pay? you could go into a regular gay bar and get whatever you wanted.
bernd: it's not the same. they all want relationships and have different lifestyles. for them its cruising and talking and trying to find a guy for an eternal love affair. i like it pure and simple. i find a kid i like, we settle on a price and off we go and he does what i want him to do and he does it right.
numbers: not very romantic.
bernd: no but sexy.
numbers: you told me you can't have sex with the same guy twice.
bernd: right -- unless they are paying, and even then, only sometimes.
bernd: the fantasy is gone. after once -- its over. i know its not good and i have met guys who i want to remain friends with, but i can't have sex with them more than once. it's -- it's too confining. i can't explain it. i'll change.
numbers: how do you know?
bernd: i've talked to some of the older guys. they all had the same experience. they still go out and buy occasionally, but they are slowly starting to have longer affairs -- three, four months. one guy i know has had a friend for almost a year. he still goes out and buys sometimes, but they are together.
numbers: is it because they are young or because you pay money for it?
bernd: a little of both. when you pay, you can have what you want and the roles are clear -- the kid knows his job is your pleasure, your fantasy.
numbers: would you say there are any differences between the stricher you find now and those from when you were out there?
bernd: yeah. a lot of them are on drugs and shit. we were mostly beer and cognac drinkers. some of them are dangerous now. they don't have it easy anymore either. we always has the usual blowjob and fuck customers. it's different now -- more older sadists and kinky types. lots of horror stories, although there were always horror stories. plus, who needs to buy a kid now that even small villages are starting to have gay bars. so you have a few buyers and more competition. also, some kids are starting at 10 which means the 14 and 15 year olds are practically grandfathers.
numbers: so you wouldn't like to be 14 and back at the station.
bernd: i used to think so, but not now. it's not the same anymore.
numbers: what about steady customers. did you ever have any? or was it always new faces?
bernd: i never wanted any, though i could have had quite a few. my name got around pretty fast and a couple of times guys would come to the station because they heard i was in.
numbers: new face in town or what?
bernd: well... (he smiles and raises an eyebrow -- a boy's mischievous grin still there) ...i do have something that caused people to take notice.
numbers: dare i ask?
bernd: it's no secret. you can take a picture of them if you want. my balls are pretty big and they hang real low. my cock is normal sized, but because of my large sack, my jeans always looked good and in a jockstrap i can make a man's mouth water. they aren't real hairy either, so a lot of guys got off on playing with them and licking them and trying to put them both in their mouth.
numbers: try? nobody succeeded?
bernd: almost got castrated in the process. i was careful about letting anyone try that after that. also, i'm circumcised and you do see that much here so that was another thing.
numbers: we'll definitely have to get a picture
bernd: i'd like that.
numbers: you would?
bernd: yeah. it would be kind of neat to know people had paid for a picture of my cock and balls and who knows, somebody might [get off] while looking at the picture. then when i am alone, jacking off, i can fantasize somebody staring at my crotch and jacking off with me.
numbers: interesting fantasy. how about a full page nude shot?
bernd: no that would destroy the fantasy. they don't need to know what i look like above the belt.
numbers: it would be nice to see.
bernd: thanks, but no. just a crotch shot. after all, that's what we like best, isn't it?
numbers: i'm sure it ranks high on the priority lists. did you have any special tricks?
bernd: you mean things i did?
bernd: hmmm. well, blowjobs with warm coffee or ice cubes in my mouth turned a lot of people on ... nothing else really. i was always good at playing like i was new -- real naive and all. i would touch them slowly like i was shy and it was my first time and i can blush when i want to.
numbers: you can?
bernd: (he says nothing and in a few seconds, he blushes.)
numbers: how did you do that?!
bernd: it's a trick. i won't tell you or everybody will be doing it.
numbers: i don't know about that but i don't think i have ever seen anyone blush at will. is it something you think about or what?
bernd: (only smiles.)
numbers: i won't press for secrets. speaking of, how about diseases.
bernd: most stricher are pretty careful. i always had a checkup every two months. only had one case of syphilis in all the years. again i must have been lucky. another guy i know seemed to get a new disease every time he sucked a dick.
numbers: what kind of men -- i mean i know there were all kinds -- but was there any special kind of men you would see more regularly out buying.
bernd: if you mean age-wise or size -- no. no particular type. but they all had the same facial expression. sort of lonely, hungry-looking types. a good percentage were married. almost all of them were closet cases and had a few drinks before coming to the station. the more in the closet they were, the faster they would cum. some guys you barely had to touch. the others -- a few liberated types with money -- would take you home and have you work on them for a couple of hours. they could control it better.
numbers: was there any type you would stay away from?
bernd: oh yeah. the loud queens were bad news. if you went with them once, then they thought they owned you and they'd come back and literally haunt you... fucking up business and insulting the other guys out buying. i have to tell you a story. not about a loud queen. but it reminded me of it. i was standing in the berlin train station and this loud queen came in so i ducked out and went around to the other side of the station. well this good-looking kid, i found out later he was only 20 years old, came up and asked me what i was doing. i said, "nothing. why?" and he said, "do you want to go with me to rome?"
numbers: rome? this was in berlin?
bernd: right. that's what i thought. what he did was, he said he would pay for the round trip ticket and give me 500 marks if i got on the next train with him to rome and stayed with him for a week.
numbers: did you?
bernd: of course. he had a first-class sleeping compartment for two and off we went. the guy had a lot of money. rich parents. they thought he needed a break from his studies.
numbers: and all went well?
bernd: hmmm. yeah. we had marathon sex from berlin to munich and then slept until we got to rome. the guy was well-built -- in every way. and he seemed to have been storing it up for awhile. after we got to rome, we checked into a small hotel in the center of the city. he was sort of strange though.
numbers: how so?
bernd: insisted on having everything his way. a real spoiled brat in a way. we would be walking down a street and suddenly , he would pull me off to the side, go down a few steps or go off into a park and tell me to get down on my knees and suck on his cock, that was why i was there and i should do what i am being paid to do, and then, hardly after it hard gotten hard, he would pack it back in his pants and we would walk on like nothing had happened. this was in broad daylight sometimes. then at the end of the week, we were walking back to the hotel and he spotted this other kid -- an italian, and he went over and the next thing i knew, we were all going back to the hotel.
numbers: a three-way?
bernd: so i thought. we got back and he told us to strip and we did and leaned back and told us to lick, not to suck him. so we did and when he got hard he told us what to do while he stood there taking pictures of us... he had a polaroid camera. he got all worked up and was having me fuck the italian kid and then having him fuck me and after awhile both the italian and i were getting pretty tired of it all. so we stopped and he screamed and threw a fit and threw us out of the room.
numbers: does sound a bit strange.
bernd: i was glad to leave. i stayed in rome for another two weeks and took the train back by myself. i'm sure he found someone to get on the train with on his way back.
numbers: all these stories are interesting. but you haven't really talked about how you felt during this time.
bernd: how i felt? i was doing what i liked to do and getting paid for it. it was great.
numbers: no regrets?
bernd: none -- well, i wish i would have put some of that money in a bank, but i had a good time. i enjoyed myself.
numbers: and what about the future?
bernd: the future is tonight.
numbers: the distant future?
bernd: you mean tomorrow night? (laughs) o.k. i know what you mean. i don't know. i'm still a stricher and probably always will be even if i don't go hanging around stations. i mean, given a choice between going home with an attractive guy or having an unattractive guy offering me money for a quick blow job in the alley, i'd take the alley. not that i need the money -- hell, five marks would be enough. it's just the idea of being paid. some people like to dress up in panty hose, others like to feel leather, others like to have poppers -- i like the exchange and the smell of money. it's my turn on.
numbers: i understand.
bernd: you do? (he smiles) then put your money where a mouth should be.
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Created: January 5, 1998|
Last modified: April 12, 1998
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